Welcome to the Date Night summary, outline shamelessly ripped from the depths of Bungie’s Life & Style section. Last Saturday, while not exactly a raging success (more like an issue-ridden not-dry run that should have been a dry run), did offer enough fun for a write-up and ensuing events. We had two rooms, the Shoulda-Been-Drunks (and shoulda-played-earliers) and the Drunks. While not everyone was a goner in the second room, enough were to amuse the rest into submission.
Room 1, or the Shoulda-Been-Drunks
Tinkerbell23 & Strunky—East-coasters, kept awake by gun held to head.
Brigadier GEN K & LOA REGULUS ONE—Held an exclusive after-prom party at the Halo Hilton!
OMG Velorium & Meghan X—OK, maybe they shouldn’t have been drunk.
Lady Nightshade & Squirrel Nutzz—They definitely should have been drunk.
IndianPrincess & suicidalthought—Didn’t think far enough ahead, either in alcohol consumption or event planning.
DireKitten & Shishka—Jay, he was better than Frankie, anyway!
Room 2, or the Drunks:
Clobberella & BeautfulWeirdo—Were so worried about making the rest of their room look bad, they handicapped themselves and maybe should have been called the DrunkWeirdo and SickClobby
Betty Skeddi & Violator187—Underagers pwnsor’d the rest of the drunks consistently.
The Don Wan & Al Capown—Drunk!Kari defends her corner and her Moonface.
BS Angel & the fecalnader—Kari’s bro makes a (drunk) showing!
Shoelacepirate & (1) Shoelacepirate —had the best chance of getting some in real life at the end of the night!
Isai Dabbe & Nativedude—Isai had to leave early, and poor Native got stuck with me the rest of the night. Sorry!
Game #1—Mind a Quickie on Midship? We won’t be late back to work, promise!
This was a 2v2v2v2v2v2 quickie match—four rounds, two minutes each. Both teams used this as a warmup for ensuing games. Quickly, the teams to beat distinguished themselves, and for both rooms it was the teenagers who pulled ahead. Meghan and Vel won the S-B-D room 57-44, and Betty and Violator pummeled the rest of the not-quite-drunk-yet Drunks 58-53.
Game #2—Low Hill Moving on Ascension w/turrets
AFter several false starts having to do with stupid times to win the game in the first room (ok, I should have tested my custom better, I admit), we finally settled on 1:00 to win with moving hills and turrets! It was super fun, and the turrets added a little spice into an-otherwise normal game. Teamwork was the key– teams that shares the killing duties were able to get an even spread in time across all members. We also had multiplier on, so if your team could work together to control the hill, it was easy to get everyone time. I watched this game while playing my own game on another TV, and Clobby controlled that hill like none other, allowing her team to jump in as they needed time. Great teamwork, guys!
In the first group, Squirrel/NS/Jay/Shiska and Vel/Meg/Gen/Reg worked the team of Strunky/Tink/Sui/Indian 1:00 to :52 to :42. The second group was led by a moderately drunk Weirdo/Clobby/Isai/Native team 1:00 to :40 to :35 over Violator/Betty/Shoey/(1)Shoey and BS/Don/Moonface/Fecalnader.
Note: The stats on the second group’s lowhill game make absolutely no sense. It was a team game, but it shows as FFA– go figure. The order is correct, though.
Game #3—Snipers on Coag or Burial Mounds
We split into 6v6 groups for the next game which was originally to be snipes on Coag, added especially for Primal. Unfortunately, Primal and Mindless volunteered to switch to the later group to accomodate another team’s need to play earlier and Primal crashed, so she was unable to play. We certainly missed them both!
Either way, it was a pretty standard snipes game. The first group was dominated by the Squirrel/Vel/Shiska power trio, leading their team to a 100-84 win on Coagulation. The second group was won by the Don/Moon/fecal group in a very close 50-48 match on Burial Mounds!
Note: Again, a problem with the stats reporting for both groups. Maybe the Bungie stats reporter was drinking with Sky?
Game #4—CTF on Terminal, first to 3 flags wins!
Since we didn’t get to play it in the humpday as planned, I thought I’d add one of BS’s favorites to the playlist to help make up for the snipes game I made her suffer through.
Both games were hard-fought and much closer than the scores might suggest. Group 1’s winner was Tink/Gen/Princess & partners There was some pretty hardcore trashtalking coming from Gen that unfortunately went unheard due to her inadvertently muting herself, but she and her date Reg pwn-dizzled with mid- and long-range killing while Tink and I stayed inside for close flag defense. The mood of the game was fairly desparate after the complete owning we received in the snipes game, but our teamwork came through for the win!
In group 2, Drunk!Weirdo was well on his way to being completely -faced but still managed to lead his team with 15 kills, but this was pretty much an owning. BS did her usual owning with snipes from the defensive base and she, Violator, and Betty were able to score 3 flags easily while Don and fecal held down the defensive rounds 4, 2, and 2 flag kills each. Truthfully, most of this description is being written from the stats– I just remember staring at the “Respawn in…” message after many, many failed attempts to get the flag from the base from many different routes.
Note: INVU did NOT play, that was Drunk!Weirdo doing his version of drunk dialing.
Game #5— Pimps at Sea, Relic
Ah, this game just proves how quickly a ho can turn on her pimp if she isn’t treated properly. For those who didn’t read the Bungie Times, two ships full of pimps and callgirls crashed off the coast of Relic a couple hours apart, and all hell broke loose. Played with the pirate weapons of magnums and swords, it was an up-close and personal game in which the girls were targeted by guys and then had to switch to the team of the pimp who killed them.
The first group was quick, fun, and slightly confused. Strunky was so broken up after losing Tink and me a couple minutes in he had a slight breakdown and never really recovered. Regulus led through most of the game but managed to lose all his hos in the last thirty seconds due to the capricious nature of callgirls in general (work on the benefits next time, Reg, we need health insurance!) to the pimp-in-training Vel who turned it up at the last minute after an unnotable first 9:30. Eric, Squirrel’s stand-in after he had to leave early, followed close behind with two callgirls to Vel’s three.
I might be reaching here, but I’m thinking the second group’s game might have been affected by the round of shots half of them took right before the game started. It was mostly a tradeoff between Violator and Native for the first two thirds of the game until Protonova, our cameraman, lagged out. When reconfiguring the game, Drunk!Bungie decided to throw a wrench in the works and not change the armor color of our Spartans when changing teams. This resulted in the following scenario:
1. Me (green armor, green team) gets killed by Violator (blue team.)
2. I switch to the blue team, but keep my green armor.
3. Hey! It’s BS! She has green armor. I’m on the blue team, but my armor matches hers.
4. My sword reticule turns red. She’s right in front of me. I press and hold the trigger and lunge at someone the same color armor as me!
5. Announcer: “Betrayal!” I’m still on the blue team, though my armor is green, and when I press the write button to talk, I’m talking to Violator.
6. I die, and have very long respawn time.
So go figure. Vel and Violator are named Kings of the the Pimps, proving you’re never too young to start pimping out your hos!
Game #6— Prom Queen & King, yo!
Our theme game of the night! We were back with our original dates for a 2v2v2v2v2v2 game. Finally warmed up, suicidalthought and I managed to slog our way through brilliant warthog driving and gunning by Strunky and Tink (I can’t wait to see the video of the two rockets Strunk’s Forza-amped driving dodged) and awesome sniping by Reg and Gen. Reg/Gen and Meg/Vel seemed to be fighting their own little battle separate from the rest of us; Reg killed Meg and Vel the most, and they both killed him to most! Shiska, my nemesis…
The second group’s game was an epic game of drunken halomasters– Weirdo just followed Clobby around most of the game saying “Weee’d be owwwning ifff I weren’t drunk… I’m sorrry Clobbb-by… *hic* ” Drunk!Kari and Moonface proved to own pretty much everybody, and in record time. Both their best sprees were eleven– two runnig riots! Nice job!!
So… Overall, how was it?
Overall, I definitely had fun and I hope everyone else did too! I learned a lot about what to do next time to make the experience better for everyone involved– so thanks to all the Cavegirls and their dates who participated!
Keep checking on the forums for more information on September’s Date Night with the Cavegirls! Woot!
edit: I am an awful person– I forgot to give my shoutouts to the people who helped me pull it off!
Tink– my second in command, you’re always first in my eyes.
Clobby– second room runner, thanks for doing it even though you felt like a train recently ran you over.
LadyLampshade– thank you for a great pimps at sea game!!
Zoom & Cayote– thank you for being great overlords and letting me organize this crazy adventure!
Article by: IndianPrincess
Entries (RSS)